Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (2011) Review

 

Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LeBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich

SPOILERS!

Once again Michael Bay has raped my childhood.

Let me start by saying, I'm a big Transformers Generation 1 fan, but I'm not a fan of these movies, I didn't hype this one up in any way what so ever, only saw the first teaser trailer (Moon landing) months ago, Deliberately avoided all about this movie in hopes of going in there and being amazed...unfortunately...this wasn't the case.

When i heard bay openly admitting that the 2nd film was terrible and how this film will be much much better, I called him on it, Of course you are going to say that in order to get people to see it. Yes it is better then the 2nd film...but not without huge plot holes and a film that runs over an hour too long.

I realise in the third installment of a film that the story must evolve and character development must be the key to keep it interesting...but having humans destroy Decepticons while the Autobots hide all movie is ridiculous.
I don't care about Sam or his model girlfriend, or how Sam is jealous of her boss cause he's insecure and a loser.

When i think Transformers, I think Job interviews!

The moon landing was shot really well and looked promising...until we get a g-string shot of Carly's ass, then i knew exactly where this film was going as every male in the cinema whistled, Please, This insults me that a film maker would put stuff like that in his film, knowing that young males will pay there money cause of stupid stuff like that, Don't take advantage of your fans just to get more money out of them, Hey, here's an idea....focus of storyline  and hire some good actors, so maybe you won't have to rely on cheap moronic gimmicks to suck people into your film.
As well as the first two transformers you see in the film are Brains and Wheelie...Why are they talking like Beavis and Butthead???? Oh right same era as the original G1, that's genius!

Speaking of good actors, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand are great in there roles, but they can't save this film

Leonard Nimoy's voice acting in sensational! and the "heel turn" is done really well, didn't see that coming. Using a Star Trek line is silly. Why do you need to cater for the Star Trek fan boys? Yes, Nimoy was Spock, No need to hit us over the head with it.  Is Peter Cullen going to be in the new Star Trek film quoting "Autobots, Transform and roll out"? NO!

The fight scenes is what really drove me insane, First, Almost every fight is humans Vs Dececpticons while Autobots hide and show up right at the end of each fight....Where is our fearless leader Optmus Prime? Defending the earth and fighting the enemy? While a main villain such as Starscream is getting killed by a human????

Sentinel Prime almost kills Optimus in 2 seconds flat,
Megatron saves Optimus, Kills Sential with ease,
Opimus Kills Megatron straight away (with one arm)
Makes no sense! Weaker guy kills strongest! WHO BOOKS THIS SHIT?

4/10
AVOID!

Unless your a mindless 14 years old boy...in that case, enjoy!